Why I have to blog

So... close friends and family will know the ordeal my family and I have been through these last few days. Let me explain a bit for those who don't know.

On the 19th of October I found out I was pregnant. I had an early miscarriage in July, I was about 4/5 weeks pregnant. I let the miscarriage happen naturally, I didn't tell my gynae or GP. So we were expecting this to be our rainbow baby. I started taking pregnancy supplements immediately and thought of rainbow baby announcements and even names!

Fast forward to this past Monday. Our first proper scan, hoping to hear a heartbeat and see something. Well we saw absolutely NOTHING. Nothing but fibroids and an empty thick uterus. My gynae's words were "I'm worried about this pregnancy." So he booked me for a laparoscopy the next day to see where the embryo was growing. Lo and behold our baby was growing in my left Fallopian tube. I was 8 weeks along so it was too big to just remove that, it had damaged my tube already, so there goes my baby AND my tube. The doctor said the chances of another ectopic pregnancy increases now so yes. I felt like he was saying "you'll possibly never have another child" but he didn't say that. I heard it though.

So yes. This blog is for my healing. I am still a bit sore physically but I haven't had a chance to deal with this emotionally as yet. I think writing will help me. And having other women and moms who have maybe been through this, to guide me and give me hope. We need all the hope we can get.

Welcome to Life with Leska.